not happy, click that lil' red cross over there.

michael
mo
181193
SJI.trampGym

its hard to forgive others, but forgiving yourself is even harder. especially if you screwed up real bad, and then you blame yourself for calling a bad one, when you had a really short time to react. then after beating yourself up for being real dumb, you somehow end up thinking about how much life would be different if you hadn't made that stupid decision. then your imagination makes you bleed a slow death by telling you how much better everything would have gone. and then, you start asking yourself why on earth didn't you say the better answer. and you keep on asking yourself that...everytime feeling like blowing a whole in your heart. after along period of time and a very damaged heart and self-esteem, your conscious decides to protect you by taking away all these question and thoughts and words and more words. all that's left is a picture. a picture of what you hoped for, what you missed, what you don't have ,and what you want so bad. but the catch is that when this perfect scenario comes into focus, while the other nonsensical guilt blurs into the distance, it somehow emphasises how bad you screwed up, how bad you fucked up. and its back to square one.

time doesn't heal these wounds. time doesn't do anything besides bring us an illusion of our own perception. however, it is only an illusion and once you start thinking clearly..

the scene is clear again with that picture of what you missed. and below the picture in fine print is " this is how bad you fucked up, moron."

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Jerry
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you are patient,
you are kind,
you'll never leave our minds,
you can hurt in the behind.

you are tender,
you are strong,
you would make a good steak,
and could last forever.

you are pleasure,
you are pain,
you're about giving,
and not what we stand to gain.

you are honest,
you are trust,
truth here is a must,
stop thinking about all that lust.

you are beautiful,
you are sexy,
sometimes you're so petty,
nothing but messy.

you are nowhere,
you are everywhere,
people are always looking for you,
surprise them, that's what you always do.

you are everything,
you are nothing,
no one could ever find the right words for you;
i know it's not nice,
but your name will have to suffice,
so... what are you?